Hokkaido Inaka

Sunday, November 13, 2005

English Competition

The other day I had the honor of judging the all Kamikawa Junior High English competition. A few gems:

"What? You are not a baseball robot; you are a home helper robot. You dont like baseball"
--Said by a scientist to his robot.

"Hi everyone. The ten million seller book is going to be screened by Spielberg. The movie we are introducing today is "U.F.O.- Unlucky Foolish Object." It's starring Mari Monroe. In the Year X the alien came to the earth. They got the wrong information and they took octopus for the human being. The alien fought with the octopus. At last both were cought by a human child whose father was a scientist!! What about the future? The movie will be showing from November 8th. We are looking forward to watching it. Now back to the studio"
--Entertainment report during a fake news show.

"To be the best greeter, it is important to experience a lot of impressions and be moved. The impressions will flood from you mouth naturally. The words will be able to move another one again.
--From a speech entitled "The importance of Greeting".

The final two are from an "alternative ending Snow White" in which Snow White, instead of being put to sleep by the witches spell and then woken by the handsome prince, is turned into a "horse-face girl", joins forces with the mirror, rejects the prince, beats the queen with a stick and marries a doctor...

Dwarf 1: Snow White, get up!

Dwarf 2: We need help

Dwarf 3: I'll run fast!

Dwarf 1: Your legs are too short.

Dwarf 3: Your legs are the same.

Dwarf 1: Ah yes, but my legs are sexier!!

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Snow White: Ouch, my head hurts. Did I drink too much sake again?

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Snow White: (to doctor) You are my hero. Will you marry me?

Prince: But he is old and ugly!!!

Doctor: What?....sorry I'm deaf.

P: SHE WANTS TO MARRY YOU!!

D: Yes!!!! It is my lucky day!!!

(Queen arrives)

Queen: (to prince) How about me?

P: Oh no!!

Q: Who is the most beautiful lady in the land?

Everyone: Snow White

Q: No, I am!!! Kiss me!!

P: NoOOOOOOOOOOooooooOOOOO!!!!(sic)

Narrator: The End


I also enjoyed spirited renditions of "Sk8ter Boy", "Hello, Goodbye", "Sugar Baby Love", and "Yesterday Once More" by The Carpenters. For all this I was given 50 dollars for my "troubles"; is it any wonder why Ive stayed for three years.

1 Comments:

  • Unbelievable. I am sitting here trying to motivate to plan out tomorrow's activity about the Proclamation of 1763, but I am much more interested in your english competition. Made my day.

    By Blogger indianaandjones, at 11:53 AM  

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